Quality Time: Love Languages for Self Love
Do you enjoy spending time with yourself? (btw, Netflix and chill for one, doesn't count).
Are there activities that you enjoy doing alone? Do you mindfully and intentionally spend time with yourself? Spending real quality time with yourself like taking yourself out to lunch or planning a day at the park? Spening QT with yourself helps you to deepen the relationship you have with you.
Here are a few different ways you can spend time with yourself that don't include the typical "go to the movies or dinner" alone. Which quite frankly, can be anxiety indusing for some.
Spend time in nature. That could be a walk around the neighborhood, the park, the beach, a botanical garden, or your own backyard! Anywhere you can commune with the Great Mother Earth. Step it up a notch and pack yourself a blanket, book, some snacks, a mini bottle of prosecco, a joint (whatever you fancy), and have yourself a nice lunch date out in nature.
Meditate. There are tons of different types of meditation techniques out there. There are guided meditations, walking meditations, sungazing as meditation, breathing meditations. It is not only sitting, eyes closed, and breathing. It may take some time to find the technique that works for you but it is definitely worth exploring. One meditation tool we can recommend from experience is going to be the "Meditation Mixtapes" by Shelah Marie. They are about 6-7 different guided meditations, which means you just need to follow along., no experience necessary. There are different themes and since they are between 10-20 minutes, it is a great way to introduce meditation into your day. Also, you are being guided by a black woman. so, fuck yea.
Connect with your Ancestors. This looks different for everyone. This could be tending to your altar, providing offerings to your ancestors, visiting a gravesite, or simply having a conversation with a family member who has transitioned on. This looks different for everyone and isn't always easy. So take your time with this, cry if you feel like crying. It is never wrong to remember those who have transitioned. Your tears are reminders that they still matter and they are still remembered.
Eat lunch away from your desk. Whether you work from home or are back in the office, it is important to take your lunch break away from your work area. If you work from home, eat your lunch away from your computer. Take your lunch to the living room, the balcony, anywhere away from the actual place you are conducting your work. Extra points if you don't read any work emails or chats during your break. Seperating yourself from your work mentally and physically during your break is important because it allows you to reset and refresh.
Take a class and learn something new. This could be an online course on something you have always had an interest in or an activity you want to explore more. You don't need to monetize it, be great at it and you don't even have to post it to the gram. Learning something new also teaches you something about yourself. Take a look at the events held at your local library or check out the app "skillshare' where there are tons of youtube like videos on how learning a new skill. It's really cool, especially if you are a creative person.
Get Creative. Paint, draw, crochet, color, dance, sing, write a story. You do not need to be an artist or a performer. Being creative accesses a different part of your brain. So especially for those who don't see themselves as creatives, it might be even more important that you explore this avenue. if nothing else, it's a great mental exercise. When you work out, you work out both sides of your body right? Creative activities do the same for your brain.
Explore your city like a tourist. As locals to any big city, we don't usually partake in the tourist activities because, well, they are for tourist. However, with that being said, there are adventures right in your own neighborhood to explore and enjoy. So pick a tourist attraction and check it out. Plus, no will know that you aren't a tourist so its the perfect way to venture out alone without feeling out of place.
Is there an activity that you want to do or a place you want to visit but haven't because you didn't want to go alone? If the activity is safe to do/visit alone (sadly, we know as women, this is something we must always consider) then think about going to that place or doing that activity. It might feel weird or awkward, but we promise you, no one is looking and no one is judging,.